Ok - so Opie's almost a canine good citizen and I couldn't be bothered with following commands. So what? I mean, I'M usually the good one, so what if I didn't want to play that game?
Oh, get over yourself already! Let me tell you about the BEST part of Doggie Palooza! I mean, besides seeing Dr. Kate and seeing Mr. Benda and meeting Jody (Randi's boss) and getting tons of treats from everybody... the absolute best part is that I totally beat the system on the agility course!
See, ever since DogMom brought me home from Friends For Life in Arizona, everybody that seems to know anything about us dogs tells her that she should get me into agility. Like I'm not agile enough, I guess. Anyways... Dr. Burke, Dr. Quist, Dr. Moffat, Dr. Mertens, Sam the trainer, Jennifer, I mean everybody!
So, anyways, DogMom sees this agility training test course at Doggie Palooza. And she gives the lady some paper and says she'd like me to try it. The lady said it would be hard with two dogs - but being human she wasn't smart enough to offer to hold one of us like the ladies at the canine good citizen test were. Oh well.
Anyway. Mom tried to get me to do all these weird things. I just didn't see the point. People have been giving me treats all day long and I didn't have to do any of these weird things. So, I figure, why start now?
First, there was this silly pole laying on a stand with two poles sticking up. I think they wanted me to jump over the pole that was as high as my chest. Duh. I jump 6-foot fences with ease -- why didn't they give me something fun and challenging to do? So, I figured they must NOT want me to jump over the pole, but to do something else. So I carefully slipped my head under the bar and flipped it up into the air ... with the added bonus of having it hit Gomer on the way down. I thought that was a great trick... but did I get a cookie for it? NO!
Then, there was this tire hanging in mid-air. The lady wanted me to jump through it. And she held out a treat and called me, playing like she was all excited. I ran really fast like I was going to jump through it... and ducked underneath it and stole the treat from her hand. (Since she forgot to give it to me on the bar trick.) Mom wanted to try again. This time, I jumped right over the top of the tire and kissed the lady in the face. I thought, maybe that was supposed to be the trick... since obviously jumping through the tire would be sooooo easy for me to do. The lady didn't seem impressed and again forgot to give me a treat.
The next thing was some kind of tube laying in the grass. I just couldn't seem to train this lady about how lame her instructions were. Why on earth would I go inside a tunnel, when I could run around it and jump over it (lengthwise!) and that was so much more fun? By this time DogMom was laughing hysterically and couldn't stop. I like it when she does that.
Anyways... the goofy Gomer watched all these stupid things to do and watched me not get any treats for being creative about how to play the game. And, what does he do? He looks at the lady and at DogMom... gets his leash out of DogMom's hand, barks, and runs over to the bar trick and jumps over both of the bars that are set up. Then, he runs over to the tire and jumps right through it. Then, in the epitomy of goofiness, he runs up to the tube, stops, looks at us, and then runs right through it.
Mom acted surprised. The lady looked at her and asked how long Gomer's been in agility classes. Never... he as NEVER taken an agility class! So, with all my creativity and hard work to train these humans, what happens? GOMER gets attention and praise and cookies.
Wuf Ya! - Opie