My name is Gomer and I approved this message.
Gosh, Opie and me wish that we could vote. Don't you, Izzy? And Tosca? And Ginger? And Gladys & Victor? And all our doggood friends? I'm tellin' ya, things would be different if we could vote.
- Every dog would have a bed and a warm place to call home. Cats, too.
- People who throw dogs in dumpsters (like I was) and who leave their dogs in the park (like Opie) would be thrown away, not allowed to work or have a home or money and have to fend for themselves. See how many of them get rescued.
- People wouldn't be able to breed new litters of puppies until every dog in the shelters has a home. Anybody who does gets fined $5,000 per litter and that money goes to the shelters so homeless pets get homes.
- After there are no more homeless pets, the shelters become day-care and boarding centers for all the dogs with people who care that they get playtime with other dogs.
- There would be bark parks (ok, in Minnesota, you call them off-leash areas) in every neighborhood, or at least the neighborhoods that have dogs living in them.
- People walking their dogs on the trails without leashes and without picking up after their dogs would be fined big time. Or, better yet, they would be leashed and forced to pick up after everybody else's dogs.
- Every 100 yards on the sidewalks and trails would be a treat station... and pick-up bags for our humans and a garbage can that gets emptied regularly.
- Dogs could go with humans into restaurants and bars and hotels. We're cleaner than the rats and cockroaches that live in them.
- Rabbits and squirrels would be outlawed. (Just cuz they make me crazy... oh, wait, that's not fair. That's why dogs are outlawed in most places now, cuz some dog somewhere made some human crazy.)
- Dogs that travel on planes with their people wouldn't be treated like baggage. They'd have special hooks for their leashes and would be able to lay down at their human's feet in the cabin... just like at home. Sure would be less stressful on us, not to mention on our people.
- New schools that cost $92 million to build would include play areas that can be shared with dogs... so the 60% of households that don't have kids could benefit from some of that money they paid.
So... off my soapbox. Get your human out to vote today!