Big Mac's = Big Trouble!

Hi Dawgs! Opie here.

I'm posting today to ask for your help. Cuz I'm in doggie jail. Well, not really... today I'm going to Dog Pad... but I might as well be in doggie jail with dogmom 'cuz I made her mad I think.

See, dogmom has had us on this diet thing. Dr. Kate says we look perfect now. Other people who knew us when we were fatter say that we look too skinny. I weigh about 48 pounds and so does Gomer. Dogmom says I can't say how much she weighs -- not that I know anyways -- but she beat both Gomer and me in our diets because she lost 21 pounds so far and I lost 7 and Gomer lost 12.

Anyways, that's not why I'm posting.

See, dogmom brought home a Big Mac the other night. You know what those are, right? They're really really bad for you because they're loaded with calories and fat and salt. We never ever get to eat them and dogmom doesn't eat them hardly ever either. But she really wanted a Big Mac after losing 21 pounds and so she bought one.

Then, she brought it home. She came inside and she put this fantastic smelling bag on top of the fridge. And she gave Gomer and me our dog food in our bowls. Some Nutro Natural Choice Lamb and Rice formula with some Hill's Prescription Diet t/d on top. Yum!

And she went upstairs to give Floyd whatever it is that she gives him. We don't know because we still don't get to go into the upstairs bathroom when he's in there.

Anypaws, while she was upstairs, I just had to investigate what that smell was on top of the fridge. First, I just tried to stand up and stretch really far. But I couldn't see it. So, then, I jumped up on the counter and tried to sniff it out. But I couldn't reach it. So then, I put my front paws on top of the fridge and left my back paws on the counter. But I still couldn't reach the bag. But I sure could smell it now.

And it smelled really good. Better than Nutro and t/d even. So I had to get closer.

So, I put my hind legs up on top of the fridge. And I got the bag and I stuck my nose in. And I opened the cardboard box that was holding my treat. Did I mention that I love it when dogmom makes getting the treat a game for me? Well, I do.

So, I was really happy with this situation. I was getting challenged and I thought I was doing pretty good at figuring out what it was that she wanted me to do. I had figured out how to get on the counter and how to get onto the fridge. Heck, I had even figured out how to get the bag and the box open. And, now I was getting my reward.

Then, I heard dogmom say, "Hi, Gomer! What a good boy sitting at the bottom of the steps... but where's Opie?"

Uh-oh. I think Gomer bark-narked on me.

Dogmom came downstairs and I froze. I mean, what could I do? I had lettuce hanging out of my mouth and the top of the fridge isn't big enough to hide very well when you're standing on it.

Dogmom was not very happy. She did that "Ooooooooohhhhhh-peeeeeeeee!" thing. Then, she went... "Noooooooooooo!" and a couple other words that I can't repeat.

She kept mumbling something about me getting sick and onions are bad and geesh, I'll probably get pancreatitis from the amount of fat in that. I think that's all good because it sure tasted yummy.

So, I don't get it. Why does she leave me these special treats and games if she just gets upset when I figure them out?

Wuf Ya! - Opie